Road show, pigment of my imagination, the real me, and my three minutes of fame

If you'd like to start at the beginning of this blog, it's here.)

Last week, for the first time in 16 weeks, I had no medical appointments. That doesn't mean I didn't think about them. I've been impatiently waiting for Radiation Oncology to call and arrange my final treatment planning appointment, which will probably be followed immediately by my first radiation treatment and scheduling all my appointments for the six weeks following.

Let's get this show on the road!

An example of "Getting this show on the road"

*******

At least once each day, I go in the bathroom, pull out a lovely hand mirror my brother made for me, turn up the lights, put on my Bartell's 300 reading glasses, and search for any changes to my non-existent eyelashes and the stubble on my head. I've noticed that there's a spot on my head that appears to have a different pigment and feels a little different softer than the surrounding skin.

Pigment-challenged

When I told my husband that I never would have seen this if I hadn't gone bald, he said "Then cancer was worth it!"

Funny man.

*******

My brother and his wife came to visit last week. I showed them my nifty and new little camera and my brother took this photo of me.

When I saw the photo, I was struck with how odd I look. I realized that when I'm in charge of the photography, there's nothing spontaneous about it. I pose, I take the photos, I choose the ones I want to use.

Here's one someone else took, and there's no hiding from how I appear. I've got the Roush double chin, and my fledgling hair growth pattern is remarkably like my father's.

Ugh.

*******

A few weeks ago, the Seattle Channel came by to shoot a segment on our housecleaning company's participation in Cleaning for a Reason. The video's on the Seattle Channel's Web site, and you can watch it below.

Start at the 9:10 mark. If you watch carefully, you'll see the spouse.

Seattle Channel Video can be played in Flash Player 9 and up

*******

As I'm waiting for radiation therapy to start, and as my energy and my old self returns, I've been able to tolerate a small amount of reflection on my feelings about the past few months.

I'm not a passive person, yet I've been struck by how passive I've been about treatment so far. I've had medical professionals give me choices, but they're usually along the lines of "If we don't do this, the chances of the cancer returning is XX%." I was left with very little to consider.

It's as if I've just been along for the ride. I have been thinking about the few

opportunities I've had to modify treatment. I haven't questioned much, because I know so much less than those who are treating me.

I wasn't given the option of time, either. Unlike other illnesses, I wasn't told that I should live with it until it starts to impede my ability to live my normal life, and then have treatment.

My one stab at modifying treatment has been consulting with a Naturopath. Yet that seems less like treatment and more like expensive magical thinking.