Last week, when I was sitting in the little waiting room between changing into gowns and heading into the radiation treatment room, I noticed there was a small metal object on the floor, plugged into the wall near the ridiculously small fan.
I went over and looked at it and realized it was a white noise machine. In the opposite corner was a small table-top fountain. So, they had three things running all the time (fan, white noise and fountain) and one of them was probably responsible for my always thinking that somewhere a coffee percolator was percolating. I could hear it, but couldn't smell it.
When the tech came to get me for my treatment, I asked her what this object was, and she said it was a white noise machine. "Is it to cover up the sound of patients screaming?" I asked.
She smiled at me as if she understood all my problems and said "No. We have to yell a lot to hear each other over the noise of the machines, and sometimes it's confidential patient information."
Odd. When I'm sitting there waiting, all I hear are the techs talking to each other about social things. They laugh a lot. In fact, they seem like a remarkably happy bunch of people. Their laughter is far louder and far more frequent than regular conversations relating to their job duties. At times, I feel slighted. Don't they know I have cancer??? They shouldn't be happy. They should be serious!
*******
On Friday, after treatment, I had my weekly check-in with the Nurse Practitioner.
She gave the magic sign for me to show her my left breast. Voila! Like Pavlov's dog, I undid my gown and bared my breast.
She said it looks really good. It should; I slather aloe vera gel on it five or six times a day, since they asked me to apply it two or three times a day.
*******
When I'm at work, every time I need to go to the bathroom I take aloe vera gel with me. I'd prefer to go into the ADA stall, but it's got a large window that has some kind of glazing stuff applied to it. Only light shines through, or so I thought.
Last week, there was a raccoon in a tree by the side of the building. The only way I could see it was to go outside and stand in a specific spot. While I was there, I could see the window into the public women's restroom, where the junkie whores go to conduct their business. There was clearly someone in that ADA stall, and she'd put a bunch of plastic grocery bags up on the window ledge. I could see her vague body shape as she moved things from one bag to another. Probably she was sorting out syringes, pipes, condoms, lighters, objets de smack, etc.
As a result, I've stopped using the ADA stall on my floor. I have to take my shirt and bra off to use the aloe vera gel, and I don't want anyone even seeing my vague and disfigured outline.
So I go into a regular and very small stall, rest the aloe vera gel on the toilet paper dispenser, strip, slap the goo on me, conduct my business, redress and leave.
It's a bit cramped.
I'd rather be cramped than seen.
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