In which she learns that cancer is like an annoying friend she can't shake...

I saw my Oncologist a few weeks ago for my regular check-in/check-up. He said I'm doing well enough to come in every six months, instead of every three. It's a kind of graduation.

I talked to him about hot flashes caused by the Tamoxifen. I've been taking Tamoxifen for over two years. Amazing to think I've been having these hot attacks so long. He suggested I change to the post-menopausal hormone-blocking meds. I asked him about side effects, and he said "You're at higher risk for osteoporosis. Let's do a bone density scan."

The scan results show I have osteopenia, the red-headed stepchild of osteoporosis. 

Great.

At what point do symptoms stop being a result of cancer and treatment and start becoming a result of aging?

Ouch

I had my last radiation therapy treatment yesterday. The techs gave me a certificate for "graduating", and being one of their favorite patients. I asked how many get these certificates. "Most" was the answer.

I still feel special.

I want to savor this moment of being done with chemo and radiation, but I'm not sure how to. Perhaps meditating on it. Perhaps putting on my roller skates and skating like a bat our of chemo. Perhaps counseling. I don't know.

My breast and armpit and collar bone are burned. The skin is peeling. It hurts and is scary-looking. "I'm a freak!," I tell my husband. "No, you're not," he says back, "You're my Reb Roush."

That makes me feel better.

******

I'm supposed to start the Tamoxifen today. I'm taking so many prescription drugs and supplements that I'm beginning to understand how people get confused about their meds.

I laid out all my morning pills this morning and considered the Tamoxifen. I decided I'd take it when I take my prescription medications, to keep them the pharmacology lumped together.