Unhunkering up, as opposed to hunkering down

 

If you'd like to start at the beginning of this blog, it's here.)

Last Monday was my last radiation therapy treatment. Since then, I've been trying to be happy about treatment being over. I don't know if it's my innate personality or the degree to which I have been hunkered down this past nine months, but I'm not naturally unhunkering.

I have made efforts to unhunker. On Wednesday, I asked my coworkers who have been especially supportive of me to go out to lunch with me at the Tamarind Tree. I was impressed that 27 responded "yep", including the CEO and my former Director.

I spent most of my time making sure everyone got the meals they ordered, and when I finally sat down to eat, I wasn't very hungry. Typical of me, but how could I have done it differently and had it turn out so nice?

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About 30 years ago I had a motorcycle accident. I was merging onto I-5 in Bellingham when a car rear-ended me. I went flying and I thought "Oh, shit!" Then I thought "My last words are going to be 'oh shit!'"

Obviously they weren't my last words, but for the six months following that accident, I was unusually happy. Strictly speaking, I was high because I was alive.

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That hasn't happened with cancer. There's been no remission high, so far.

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We had family and friends over yesterday to celebrate with us. It was a very nice crowd and they brought some great food. Their assignment was to bring finger food that begins with "C".

One of the funnier finger foods was salsa from my cousin Charlotte. She apparently thinks that since it came from Costco, it began with a "C".

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This is my last post. I'm ready to move on, and relearn what life is life without cancer and its treatment.

I'll be taking hormone-blocking pills for a number of years, go in for frequent exams to make sure that the nasty disease hasn't reappeared, and watch impatiently as my hair grows back in.

In my opinion, none of these are blog-worthy.

Thanks for reading,

Rebecca Roush

That was weird...

I was heading into the treatment room for radiation. The tech was reminding me that they were going to do films today, as they do each Monday. As a result of being distracted by her conversation, I approached the treatment table from a different direction.

I couldn't figure out how to get on the table. I was backwards/turned around.

I had to go to the other side to get up on it.

My brain couldn't help me figure out how to do this simple different step.

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I asked the tech what people say when they describe their radiation therapy/side effect fatigue.

She said some people say it hits them suddenly, and others say it creeps up on them.

I think I might have had the sudden onset this weekend.